Relationships as Mirrored Images
1. Aliveness in
Time; Taking Time
1. Aliveness in Relationship
The life of a relationship is like the life of a plant
Growing and flourishing when nurtured
Fading away when neglected
A relationship grows when fed with the flowing waters of sharing, and the essential nutrient of loving.
Indifference in a relationship
is like drought to a plant
Relationships are precious entities, sustained with mutual energy. Both people need to share and be receptive to the other's loving actions—together forming a circle with permeable boundaries that can expand infinitely.
We grow in our ability to love the more we share lovingly, and relationships give us the opportunity to develop our capacity to love fully.
Feeling whole, complete
2. Benefits of Kindness
Kind in mind
Body feelin’ fine
Being kind leaves our mind peaceful
our body relaxed
but feeling energized
By acting kindly, we remain energized and free of tension; avoiding self-induced stress in both our mind and body. A smile uses less energy and fewer muscles, than does a frown!
Benefits of being kind:
1. Our mind stays tension-free;
2. Our body stays relaxed, but energized;
3. With reduced stress, our mental and bodily health stays at its optimum as long as possible;
4. Our body stays energized longer because the mental attitude of kindness opens our mind and bodily pathways to perceiving the flow of our internal joyful energy;
5. By our being kind, we infect others with the energy of kindness;
6. Our self-esteem improves because kindness with others allows us to look more kindly at ourselves, too.
Kind in mind
Body feelin’ fine
and fully alive
Centering our energy upon a specific
And then following through...
we develop willpower
and the courage
to face difficulties
Qualities developed in a commitment
into other aspects of daily living
It is not so important
what the exact commitment is
What is beneficial
is the strength we develop
being true to something or someone
As an example: While a student, we choose our career goal, then make the commitment to spend the time and energy needed to reach the goal. We use our mind to devise a plan, then systematically follow it to graduation. We decide to use a big allotment of energy to reach our goal, energy that could be used in more leisurely pursuits. We do this because we feel the goal is worthwhile for our future financial support and career satisfaction. We commit our energy till the goal is attained.
Relationships are similar. We water and fertilize the flower of our relationship every day to keep it growing and flourishing. As we feel the happiness we derive in the daily process of living, the commitment becomes 'full feeling.'
We each have a basic desire
to be happy
To feel a sense of harmony within ourselves
extending to others and nature
We make a big commitment by just living. We say that feeling peaceful and happy inside are worth any expenditure of energy. Sometimes we aren't consciously aware that happiness is our underlying goal, but if we look back we see that everything we have done was done because we wanted to feel happy.
The state of feeling content or happy
is really the goal
of any outward commitment
It's not a specific activity, job, or relationship
that satisfies us
What we really want is to feel happy
Therefore we commit ourselves to those activities
we feel will make us happy
The way to reach this goal is to use our energy in activities and pursuits that do not disturb our personal place of easefulness, that easefulness we naturally feel when free of stresses from trying to get what we don't have and still want.
Happiness can be ours at this very moment. Right while reading this, sink into yourself. Feel your body relax and tension drain away. Take a few moments to stop reading and close your eyes—feel how relaxed you become by sinking into your inner state of easefulness. As you begin reading again continue to enjoy this state of easy happiness.
In summary, let's remember that the underlying goal in any commitment is to feel harmony and happiness in our lives. Let's make the commitment to feel this natural state of harmony that is already living within us, and from this place of happiness, interact with care and love in the world.
Relaxed in body and mind
Happiness can be with us right now
It is our natural state of being
Polite, thoughtful interaction—
Our points of view are formed from personal experience; our past experiences uniquely our own. We all react differently, even in the same circumstances.
We can keep our personal point of view while accepting that others' point of view is valid for them, by remembering that current perceptions and reactions are based on past input.
Politeness and consideration of others' ideas and feelings lends to mutually relaxed interaction, and additionally, to expansion of our own base of experience.
that broaden our point of view
extend our reality
of our intertwining roles
in each others' lives
From one of the parts
to our consciousness
as parts of the One
5. Emotional Responsibility
Emotional interaction, responsibility
between a relationship of friendship
and one of romance
Loving emotions are the prelude
to the deepest intimate interactions possible
It is bringing the Divine
into the relationship
What is brought in being greater
than the two generate apart
In a romantic relationship
it is a given that we will act
and interact lovingly
Thus taking on
the responsibility of
with our partner
Emotional ties and interactions are bonds
keeping a relationship a viable force on its own
developing into attachment
With time and nurturing
into Unconditional love
Roots sunk deep
of emotional barrenness
During times of emotional caring
a couple penetrate
and are penetrated
by one another
Roots of attachment
survive even when emotional caring is thin
Sprouting with renewed life
when, once again
nourished with lovingness in word and action
Roots of love
Bonds of supportive caring
sunk deep within one another
provide the bonding necessary
during times of emotional drought
and traumas in living
Strong Inner Values
What we do in our outer life
forms our inner life
And strong inner values
produce actions for the higher good
Thoughts affect our actions
Actions reinforce our thinking
Harmonious living requires
that our thoughts and actions cooperate
for the highest end result
Loving thoughts and actions in relationship
support and reinforce
all our interactions
in the world
Aiding us in developing
caring and nurturing with all—
People know we love them
by the caring that we show them
Our Foremost Goal
Our foremost goal
is developing the quality of lovingness
which we achieve through
our nurturing and caring actions
The choice for acting on love
faces us repeatedly
till we become conscious
we are actually beings of love
By applying the attitude of caring
we come to experience
harmony and contentment fully
in our life
Caring with others
of our natural state
Harmony and Joy
Growing in emotional responsibility
as part of our intimate relationship
we learn to live
with love ever uppermost
in our attitude, mind, and actions in the world
6. Expressions of Love in the Workplace
Love takes many forms
and the purest form of love is caring
Is there anything in the universe but love that motivates and energizes us? If so, I haven't found it. And, it is in our very acts of caring, of loving, that we come to know our Source of love most fully.
When we feel caring with someone
our body relaxes
and tension drains from our mind
As humans, we are made up of the intertwining of body, mind, and emotions; powered by the harmonious intelligent energy of Spirit.
Being congruent in our total expression as humans means that we act on our emotional feelings and instinctual drives with intelligence, without hurting anyone.
And in the setting of the workplace, when we are most fully caring with each other, the best result for all comes about.
Our instinctual biological drive
creates and maintains pair bonding
But in the workplace
it is caring love that produces the best results
A cloaking facade
is what we mostly see
of each another
And we, ourselves, even think
that is most of us
from what our mirror tells us
And our relating in the world is mostly
facade to facade
It is in the growth of friendship
time spent in meditation
that we discover our depths
Because we do have a sensitive depth to ourselves, we are careful to protect that depth from trammeling by the world through our facades of certain actions and postures and even the clothing we wear in the world. In friendship we find out that our friends and ourselves are presenting more than gift-wrapping to each other.
Therefore, friendship is very important for releasing our facade and revealing our depths not just to our friends, but especially to ourselves.
In the experience of our steep depth of dimension we come to see that we really have inner resources to handle all problems that present in our lives.
In our depths
we are not bound
by physical constraints
and can 'wander' in the universal mind
The orderly Source
from whence all knowledge comes
from whence all knowledge resides
when we take the time and energy to go within
searching out answers
And providing the energy for our outer life of action is the inner radiant sun of endless vitality. That we can and do draw on just by relaxing into the depths of our mind with loving attitudes, allowing the answers to all our dilemmas to float right into our waking consciousness. or perhaps into one of our dreams.
The examples in nature give us the clues
about the inner stuff of our own being
All fruits have skins that hide and protect their lusciousness until ready to be consumed. Trees have an outer bark protecting their innards, but it is those unseen innards of the tree that provide the structure for its life, for its ability to stand in the world. And, we too, have a sturdy physical form to give protection to our sweet innards of emotion and mind, to house our very soul and provide the working format while we grow in consciousness during our visit(s) on planet earth.
Our facade is therefore essential and useful. What we need to do is realize that our facade and the facades of others are not all there is to any of us. And that is what we find out in the depths of friendship, particularly. And in the combination of time spent in meditation and loving actions with our friends we come to know that we as humans are much more than flesh and bone beings.
Our facade is a facade
But useful in carrying us along on planet earth
It is up to our self-efforts
in meditation and loving action
to discover our depth of being
And in that discovery
to use all the resources we have been endowed with
to expand our consciousness
And to do what we can
to live a conscious life
for the betterment of our planet
for the betterment of our world
A friend I am
when coming to another's place of unrest
to dissipate unsettledness
with warmth of caringness
A friend I am
when listening openly, non-judgmentally
when judgment would be easy
A friend I am
when taking extra time
to lend a helping hand, though busy
A friend I am
when feeling your need
I act for you
as I would act for myself
As in the word, a friend is like a ship that carries us, abides with us unfailingly, through the calm and rough seas of life.
There is no purer relationship than friendship. It is unconditional loyalty and love. Friendship is a bond of steadfastness and acceptance that allows us to be who we are, fully, without fear that love will be withdrawn.
Over a lifetime, it is the bond of friendship that allows us to explore our depths with non-judgmental feedback and supportiveness.
Individuals of flesh, mind, emotion, consciousness
aware that as with vines
we, too, lead lives intertwined
Intertwined in actions
of compassion, caring, support
sharing our time, for all time
as friends …
Sometimes, the friendship we give is not returned, but we benefit in another way: The process of extending friendship expands our consciousness. While giving and in the afterglow, we feel a sense of connection.
Once we experience the connection we feel while giving caringly, we know that it is not just what we receive in life that makes us happy. It is mainly the connection that we feel when our own boundaries of self-centeredness break down through our lovingness, that we feel our internal sense of peace and happiness.
Above all else in this world is friendship
And with the addition of love life is made beautiful
Above all else in this world is loving friendship
That is true friendship
Loving Moment to Moment …
Life on earth is a progression of moments, a progression of remembering who we are and for remembering that our mission is to love fully in each moment. Acting for the best interest of our friends is a way to love fully in many moments of our lives.
Lasting happiness, moment to moment, becomes our experience as we feel and express ourselves lovingly.
There is an incredible depth of experience in being fully aware in a single moment. Example: Traveling along by train, when we glance straight out the window we see blurred images, the train is moving too quickly for us to focus on one object. But as the train slows down and stops we can see a scene in depth—a field, farmhouse, trees off on the distant horizon. The stillness of the stopped train allows us to focus in the depth that was not possible while the train was rapidly moving along.
In our life we can enjoy depth of view by focusing well on each of our activities. When we focus on each of our activities during the day, we get a lot done, feeling satisfied. Personal organization, daily planning, allows us the freedom of mind to be focused in the moment. Planning allows us to accomplish the most in the least amount of time. We also are freeing up time and energy spent in thinking about what we need to do next.
As the day progresses and we perform our tasks and interactions with caring and lovingness, we are fulfilling our mission—we are becoming the depth of love possible in each moment. In the moment, at this moment, caring with our friends is a way to fully express life's excellence.
Our Greatest Friend …
Who ordains, maintains in this domain?
who set the stars a-light
placing their planets in perfect flight
of flowers; delicate, bright
lifting our spirits to thankful heights
which gathers up the winds
clearing the clouds; blue skies again
who made water flow
causing seeds and sprouts to grow
The Loving Heart
where souls are born
to come to know we are adorned
with grace 'n harmony to share
the bliss and joy of love 'n care
9. Intertwining Lives
As a vine begins
springing forth from Mother Earth
we also spring forth
from a mother's womb
The vine as a tender shoot is protected under the mature leaves and vines surrounding it, and we are protected by the mature people around us.
The new vine receives its nourishment from sun, rain, and minerals of the earth. We receive our nourishment almost the same way, plus we have adults to guide and give us emotional nurturing and teaching in how to live in our new world.
One day the strong young vine shoots up through the massed tangle of mature vines above, asserting itself, hanging out awhile, blowing gently in the breeze till making contact with another young assertive vine. They touch and cling, wrap their growing selves around each other for strength and support, becoming a strongly intertwined unit.
Heading off in their own direction the entwined vines eventually become entwined in even more vines. The intertwining mass becoming inseparable, providing a sheltering cover for the new life emerging beneath. Vines becoming mature, strong, lustrous, retaining their own stem of identity, but living as integrated parts, useful parts of the whole garden of vines.
We grow like the vines
Mother Nature provides
as our models for living
We begin independently, are nurtured, grow strong, assert our independence, then join forces with friends and mates, fortifying our efforts in reaching our goals. All the while we are personally growing in lovingness by cooperatively caring and sharing ourselves with each other.
Our maturity comes
as we realize
that we retain our individuality
capable of great lovingness
yet remain inseparable parts
in each other's lives
We remain as interdependent
and strengthening forces with each other
for a lifetime
All of our lives are as vines
10. Loving Is What Counts
Loving is what satisfies us
It is the energy that we feel as harmony
from single atom to worlds of atoms
All nature links
in intelligent harmonious relationships
of giving and sharing
Through their knowing cooperation
the parts align in completed forms
with lovingness as their glue
Each part serves its purpose
and respects the functioning of other parts
Each atom surrendering its aspect of singleness
into union of completeness
by mating with other atoms
Love is unity
Love extends awareness into action
to preserve harmony
As humans, love in the format of caring
nurtured and expanding
Loving is what counts
Lovingness pulls the loose ends of discord
back into the Self of harmony
By relaxing our self-centeredness
we lovingly seep into others' lives
Imbuing each action and interaction
is the ultimate in creativity
Harmoniously blending with and uplifting
by our positive words and actions
allows us and others to feel good
Our bodies feel warm
and our minds content
aligns us with
the Creator's efforts to promote
harmony in the consciousness of people
Every time we take the opportunity
to find a way to create harmony
in a circumstance or interaction
we reinforce lovingness in ourselves and others
Nothing feels better to us
in body or mind
than the experience of love
We feel love by loving
We create the way that makes every act
the reality of love
by harmonizing all the aspects
of the situation
Harmony in every aspect of relatedness
Love is our Self
Transcending time, place, space
Love is our connection within immortality
By our increasing lovingness and caring
in daily living
we come to greater awareness
of our underlying Self
Proficiency in lovingness grows and develops by practice
till it flows through our actions
at all times
any situation to its highest capacity
What is love?
Love is us
manifesting through our purified mind
in caring thoughts and actions
The more often we are loving
the more often we are being our Self
Acting for our own
and others' highest good
is the best way to show
we care about ourselves and others
It is from the feeling
that we are interrelated
intermeshed within creation
that we naturally act
for the highest good
Eventually, we feel
so comfortable interacting with others
that we realize that no one is really a stranger
rather, all are aspects of our universal Self
Seeing that everything is an aspect of ourselves
and their subsequent actions
we naturally begin to care
about the good of all
Stretching ourselves far and wide
in our lovingness
Brothers and Sisters
Be warmed in heart and stilled in mind
An easeful body keeps us fine
With caring share
Joyfully feel love emanate
Brothers and Sisters
harmoniously bound in circling lives
In love's circle of joyfulness
with everyone and everywhere
11. Making Time; Taking Time
We easily make time
for the people we want to be with
and the things we want to do
It is harder to arouse energy
for what we are procrastinating about
or do not really want to do
We feel a burst of energy to get the job done when we adopt a positive attitude toward what we put off doing. We can say to ourselves: "the quicker I get it done, the sooner I'll be through."
It is the attitude in our mind
about people or things
that focuses the necessary energy
in our body
to fulfill our desires
Energy is flowing through us all the time from the permanent source—our Creator-Sustainer. By our attitudes and will, we are choosing how much current to draw from the inexhaustible supply. When we really want a certain result, we make the time and space available to create that reality.
By our free will
we make space in our time
to fulfill desires
12. Mystical Love
of all other modes of loving
The perfection, completion
and release of limited energy
of unlimited loving energy
Mysterious to us
till we experience its uplifting
in our own body
Felt by those
who love unconditionally
In loving unconditionally
we are not blocking
our own perceptions
nor are we blocking
anyone else's expressions
We are allowing the river
of unseen, but vibrantly felt
to sweep through us
as we benefit others
through our highly charged
recharging us daily
when our attitudes are positive
and we act for the highest good
of each moment
The energy of Love
13. Platonic Love
Placing the same energy with a friend
that we would place with a lover
Without the give and take
of physical sexual expressions
The flow of loving energy keeps charging and recharging our batteries in our platonic love relationships.
Platonic love is also a form of unconditional love, and through its nurturing can lead us to recognizing God's love for each of us.
What is a constant
comes not of this physical and mental world
of cause and effect
constant by its nature
is born of and a quality of our Source
reflected through our souls
and into our daily lives
by our loving actions, interactions
Platonic love in adult relationships perhaps happens most often when loving feelings are present, but it would be inappropriate to express them in a physical sexual relationship. One specific reason for the development and nurturing of platonic love is that one or the other, or both, are already in a committed sexual relationship with another person.
Platonic love is our 'outlet'
for allowing the vibrant energy charging our bodies
to keep charging and recharging us
when it would be inappropriate or impossible
to express ourselves in physical sexuality
And by allowing and nurturing platonic love relationships in our lives, we grow in consciousness of our internal and eternal inter-connection with everyone in creation.
When we grow in consciousness of connection with others, we can then make the jump into understanding and experiencing the Source of the great love that intermingles us as one great family of humanity in the world.
Let's develop and nurture
in our lives, in our world
That we may all come to be energized consciously
by the unseen Force
from the unseen loving Source
The expression of Love
appropriate with all
that can be expressed by all
for the benefit of all
All of humanity growing in consciousness
energized and growing in consciousness
14. Relationships as Mirrored Images
With everyone and everything, every day
forms a relationship
In relationship, we react to each other's thoughts and actions on all the diverse and deep levels of our being. We see the outer layers of visible activity and observe the inner motives, stemming from past personal background and current desires for the future. We face continuing variables in the projection of ourselves and others in a relationship.
By communicating with lovingness we communicate with and experience the unchanging soul of another, the depth of relationship untouched by variables.
of unconditional love
bouncing back and forth between
Experiencing warm energized
Brightening each other's day
15. Resolving Emotional Longings
We experience emotional pain
when we long for what is not
for our highest good
and when we long for that
which we cannot have
Intuitively we know what is best for us. When we succumb to any lesser path or desire, we set up conflict, friction, within our integrated physical-mental-emotional self.
Emotional pain serves as a fever serves an illness, signaling we are out of harmony from not preserving our peacefulness.
After experiencing much pain we learn how to act to preserve our natural harmony, which is by accepting circumstances that are out of our hands, and acting on that which we know is for our highest good.
Replacing disharmony with harmony
Conflict with resolution
By accepting, aligning
in peaceful attunement
with our highest consciousness of good
And by accepting current circumstances
as renditions of what is
16. Softening the Mind-Set
There is no way
through force of our ego or will
to change another's mind-set
What does transform is our unconditional love and acceptance of a person, just as they are, even if they are acting and thinking negatively. Our acceptance and love softens their attitudes in their cognitive mind, which 'lets down' its defenses, and in that momentary relaxation slips beyond rigidness to its permanent state of Self-sustained lovingness.
Example: Ice will stay contained in a strainer, but when exposed to heat the ice melts through. The ice is like our hardened set patterns, ideas, and attitudes. The strainer is the mind structure with its techniques and devices. The heat that melts icy attitudes is unconditional love. When we act from the greater level of harmonious acceptance we show others how to enjoy their own state of love and harmony.
The outcome of giving up rigidness
in favor of loving attitudes
that are being put
into kind and caring actions
What happens to the mind when we do not give in to its self-centered ways? It instead becomes our useful tool, aiding us in expressing ourselves lovingly, efficiently, in working out daily problems. When we try to change another's mind-set to our own mind's point of view, we are giving our mind a false power that will eventually self-destruct in its own fickleness and changeability.
Only our Self
existing as the state of unchanging love
is a constant reality
We can go for the unchangeable, live the unchangeable, through attitudes and actions of unconditional love in every moment.
Through unconditional love
we can live in enlightenment always
Lightened thoughts, words, and deeds
The happy way to exist
17. Sole to Soul Connection
time, place, space
Sole connections are inverted, bargaining, self-serving relationships that come and go.
Sole to soul connections develop
when we act with care
In caring for another, we are feeling their need and acting upon it as we would if the need were our own.
Even when we are not near someone we have shown care for, we still feel love for them. This lovingness, without the need for their physical presence is happening on a deeper level of ourselves—an everlasting soul connection.
Sole to Soul
Exclusive to inclusive
Resulting in consciousness of connection
Transference of caring love
for a person
to include Love of the Truth
Transference of Love of the Truth
increases the joy in our lives
We can transfer our feeling of love for a person to love of transcendental truth. Or we can transfer our love of the Truth to the people in our lives. Both extensions increase our experience of joy.
Here's how to increase the experience of joy:
1. While sitting in meditation think about and allow feelings of caring for a person, or even a pet or prized possession to come to mind.
2. While in this warm-feeling state dwell upon the ideal of Supreme Truth.
3. Or reverse the process, if it is more natural to first feel love for knowing the Truth—by extending those radiant feelings of love of the Truth to include love for a person, and then other people, ever widening your circle of love.
Transference of caring love
from person to person to person
When we love fully
we are putting the Ultimate Truth
19. Trustworthiness in Relationship
A quality of soul
that allows our consciousness to grow
Trustworthiness is sacred in a one-on-one relationship. This bond of trust allows us to share most intimately with our partner.
Trustworthiness is tenuous and when not maintained is difficult to rebuild. To aid us, the practice of unconditional love allows us to most easily become trustworthy and sustain trustworthiness. Unconditionally loving another means we act on another's best behalf, even if we would rather do something else, or present another image of ourselves.
Most importantly, for our own evolution in consciousness, we need to be trustworthy in all of our relationships.
A quality of soul
that allows our consciousness to grow
To grow and flourish
20. Ultrasonic Communication
Ultrasound clears away
is a relaxed accepting attitude
clearing away the debris
between minds that have
prevented the flow
thought, feeling, actions
of what others are experiencing
according to their needs
and past conditioning
frees us to relax and allow
the warm undercurrent
to flow openly between
We are released
of interfering words and actions
Clearing away the grit
from our mind
Leaving space for communing
Biographical Sketch; Links
Susan Helene Kramer is an international author of more than 50 books and thousands of articles on rhythmic dance, ballet, music, philosophy, social issues, yoga, meditation and practical spirituality for children, teens, adults and those challenged, with some translations in Dutch, French, German, Greek and Spanish, and with her husband, Stan Schaap- http://www.stanschaap.com lives in The Netherlands.
1998-2016 Susan Kramer
Santa Barbara, California USA
Amsterdam, The Netherlands
March 29, 2016 - reformatted